“The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” – Lao Tzu
Have you ever read a wonderful piece of advice and then completely failed to implement it?
I’ve recently been looking a lot of advice in the face and asking, “Why bother?”
All those gurus sitting in their white castles don’t know the details of your life. You might be a single mom with two young children, or a young graduate desperately trying to get noticed at work and with the ladies. You’re going through so much in life already that you don’t see why you should waste time trying to implement someone else’s advice, no matter how sound it seems.
In addition, most advice is uncomfortable to implement. It takes time, energy and resources, and you already have enough demands on them: from work, family and friends. You weigh the pros and cons subconsciously, and come to the decision it’s not worth it. The advice you nodded along with gets forgotten. “It sounds great,” you say, “but I couldn’t do it.”
We don’t bother to analyse why we’re not trying to implement those tips the gurus say are worthwhile, and we put it down to laziness. But it’s really not laziness, it’s just a lack of motivation. We don’t do anything till we decide that we really, really want that thousand-mile journey. And self development is a really long journey, so why bother? No matter how much other people say that it’s important to be better, richer, healthier, smart, more productive… you shouldn’t bother unless you think that goal is important.
Take waking up early, for instance. A few years back this was the rage among productivity bloggers, and then someone came along and said it doesn’t work for him. Do you wake up early? If you answered no, it’s probably because you’re not sufficiently motivated: there are lots of things that can be done at night or on the commute, and sleeping in is so much fun! However, it’s easy to wake in time for something that can only be done early in the morning: that’s why most people who love sleeping in still manage to catch their early morning flights, and most employees make it to work by 9.
Some things just don’t seem worth it. I’ve read lots of house cleaning tips, but my place stays a mess: I can live with mess as long as it doesn’t attract bugs or get underfoot – my day is too crammed to make room for obsessive mopping.
You can never go down the road towards self-improvement till you identify what you love, and what your own goals are. It doesn’t have to resonate with anyone else: if you’re a recent grad you can admit to yourself that you want to get a job in an investment bank, make lots of money, work heaps, and retire early; you don’t have to join a non-profit, you can make the world better just by being yourself. It’s your life, you don’t have to justify your dreams to anyone else. Someone else might be on a weight-loss journey, but if you’re fine with being slightly overweight for the moment, don’t feel guilty: understand why it’s like that (other priorities maybe) and whether you plan to tackle your weight later. Don’t feel the need to be like someone else; another person’s goals will never matter to you.
The first real step in a journey is introspection: deciding what journey you want. I’ve done some soul-searching myself, before deciding to take baby steps down the self-improvement path. These are the areas that I’ve decided I want to improve upon, and that I’ll be discussing in my blog. Check if any of these goals fit in with your own goals:
- Career Optimization
Unless you’re acting immorally, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to earn money – it lets you raise children, support your family, donate to the needy and enjoy life a little. However, my primary motivator is working at something I’m passionate about, so I’m happy making a small income that allows me to survive without handouts.
I write about following your passion, and it’s a wonderful life when you can merge your career and passion. For some people (including me) this may take a while to achieve, and it’s ok to build up a nest egg by working hard at a job you don’t dream about. Your job will take up most of your life, and it’s important to try to enjoy it, do well at it, and leverage it as much as possible without dying inside. - Frugality
I equate wealth with freedom. Money doesn’t mean a flashy car for me, it means time to devote to work I love rather than work that just pays. Wealth can bring security, comfort, experiences… and income generation is only one part of the equation.
I was forced to be extremely frugal after a lifestyle change led to two people living on a tiny income, and it’s taught me a lot – mostly that frugality isn’t painful. When you have a vision of what you want from life (travelling, being with your kids, starting a business) wasteful consumerism fades into the background. That’s not to say that you should live a miserable stingy life. It’s just that I believe that frugality can help you achieve your longer-term goals by eliminating the stuff you don’t really want. - Healthiness
This is one of the more difficult goals since it involves abstaining from foods you love and undertaking strenuous activity when you’d rather do something else. This is something I’ve thought long and hard about, and I’ve talked about how I do it. It’s totally worth it for me – I feel more energetic, and tend to fall ill less often. However, without sufficient determination, it’s difficult to try to be healthier. - Happiness
Gretchen Rubin says her year of trying to be happier did, in fact, make her happier. The surprising thing is that being happier is not necessarily easy: it involves an amount of restraint, selfless giving, work and social interactions. At the end of the day though, I’d rather be happy and exhausted. - Productivity
What is the point of doing meaningless work quicker?
I was totally disinterested in productivity hacks until I discovered what I really wanted to do with my life. Sure, you can apply some tips to improve your social life, but most tips are work related – and before trying to go through tips for working better, make sure you want to be doing that work. Of course, if there’s something you look forward to doing outside of work you can try to work more efficiently to have more time to devote to that activity. Productivity is closely tied with career optimization.
Everyone’s journey is different. Before you read about how to have a more efficient journey, it’s important to think about which journey you want. Hopefully this post will inspire you to do that.
No comments yet.