“The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” – Lao Tzu

Have you ever read a wonderful piece of advice and then completely failed to implement it?

I’ve recently been looking a lot of advice in the face and asking, “Why bother?”

All those gurus sitting in their white castles don’t know the details of your life. You might be a single mom with two young children, or a young graduate desperately trying to get noticed at work and with the ladies. You’re going through so much in life already that you don’t see why you should waste time trying to implement someone else’s advice, no matter how sound it seems.

In addition, most advice is uncomfortable to implement. It takes time, energy and resources, and you already have enough demands on them: from work, family and friends. You weigh the pros and cons subconsciously, and come to the decision it’s not worth it. The advice you nodded along with gets forgotten. “It sounds great,” you say, “but I couldn’t do it.”

We don’t bother to analyse why we’re not trying to implement those tips the gurus say are worthwhile, and we put it down to laziness. But it’s really not laziness, it’s just a lack of motivation. We don’t do anything till we decide that we really, really want that thousand-mile journey. And self development is a really long journey, so why bother? No matter how much other people say that it’s important to be better, richer, healthier, smart, more productive… you shouldn’t bother unless you think that goal is important.

Take waking up early, for instance. A few years back this was the rage among productivity bloggers, and then someone came along and said it doesn’t work for him. Do you wake up early? If you answered no, it’s probably because you’re not sufficiently motivated: there are lots of things that can be done at night or on the commute, and sleeping in is so much fun! However, it’s easy to wake in time for something that can only be done early in the morning: that’s why most people who love sleeping in still manage to catch their early morning flights, and most employees make it to work by 9.

Some things just don’t seem worth it. I’ve read lots of house cleaning tips, but my place stays a mess: I can live with mess as long as it doesn’t attract bugs or get underfoot – my day is too crammed to make room for obsessive mopping.

You can never go down the road towards self-improvement till you identify what you love, and what your own goals are. It doesn’t have to resonate with anyone else: if you’re a recent grad you can admit to yourself that you want to get a job in an investment bank, make lots of money, work heaps, and retire early; you don’t have to join a non-profit, you can make the world better just by being yourself. It’s your life, you don’t have to justify your dreams to anyone else. Someone else might be on a weight-loss journey, but if you’re fine with being slightly overweight for the moment, don’t feel guilty: understand why it’s like that (other priorities maybe) and whether you plan to tackle your weight later. Don’t feel the need to be like someone else; another person’s goals will never matter to you.

The first real step in a journey is introspection: deciding what journey you want. I’ve done some soul-searching myself, before deciding to take baby steps down the self-improvement path. These are the areas that I’ve decided I want to improve upon, and that I’ll be discussing in my blog. Check if any of these goals fit in with your own goals:

1. Career Optimization
   Unless you’re acting immorally, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to earn money – it lets you raise children, support your family, donate to the needy and enjoy life a little. However, my primary motivator is working at something I’m passionate about, so I’m happy making a small income that allows me to survive without handouts.
   I write about following your passion, and it’s a wonderful life when you can merge your career and passion. For some people (including me) this may take a while to achieve, and it’s ok to build up a nest egg by working hard at a job you don’t dream about. Your job will take up most of your life, and it’s important to try to enjoy it, do well at it, and leverage it as much as possible without dying inside.
2. Frugality
   I equate wealth with freedom. Money doesn’t mean a flashy car for me, it means time to devote to work I love rather than work that just pays. Wealth can bring security, comfort, experiences… and income generation is only one part of the equation.
   I was forced to be extremely frugal after a lifestyle change led to two people living on a tiny income, and it’s taught me a lot – mostly that frugality isn’t painful. When you have a vision of what you want from life (travelling, being with your kids, starting a business) wasteful consumerism fades into the background. That’s not to say that you should live a miserable stingy life. It’s just that I believe that frugality can help you achieve your longer-term goals by eliminating the stuff you don’t really want.
3. Healthiness
   This is one of the more difficult goals since it involves abstaining from foods you love and undertaking strenuous activity when you’d rather do something else. This is something I’ve thought long and hard about, and I’ve talked about how I do it. It’s totally worth it for me – I feel more energetic, and tend to fall ill less often. However, without sufficient determination, it’s difficult to try to be healthier.
4. Happiness
   Gretchen Rubin says her year of trying to be happier did, in fact, make her happier. The surprising thing is that being happier is not necessarily easy: it involves an amount of restraint, selfless giving, work and social interactions. At the end of the day though, I’d rather be happy and exhausted.
5. Productivity
   What is the point of doing meaningless work quicker?
   I was totally disinterested in productivity hacks until I discovered what I really wanted to do with my life. Sure, you can apply some tips to improve your social life, but most tips are work related – and before trying to go through tips for working better, make sure you want to be doing that work. Of course, if there’s something you look forward to doing outside of work you can try to work more efficiently to have more time to devote to that activity. Productivity is closely tied with career optimization.

Everyone’s journey is different. Before you read about how to have a more efficient journey, it’s important to think about which journey you want. Hopefully this post will inspire you to do that.

Related posts:

1. How to Integrate Your Dreams and Your Life
2. Don’t Be Scared of Obstacles!
3. Why is it so Hard to Lose Weight? My Giant List of Weight-Loss Tips

Our natural tendencies (or mine, at least!) steer us towards weight gain rather than loss. It’s much more fun to gorge on fast food and chocolates and avoid the gym. I’d rather have a cocktail than sparkling water.

However, I’ve made a commitment to being healthy, and though it’s not easy, hopefully it’ll be worthwhile in the long run. Here’s a long list of tricks that I use to try to stay on course:

1. Motivation
   I gravitate naturally towards chocolates, puddings and all things sugary. It’s hard for me to give those up, just as it’s hard for me to sweat out an hour-long workout. So I’ve had to think about this long and hard. Is it really worthwhile for me to go on a health kick? Should my days have more exercise and less dessert items?
   I’m not that overweight, but I’d really like to be healthier. I’d like to live longer, and not come down with illnesses (like diabetes) that I can put off through a healthy lifestyle. I like the increased energy that a healthy lifestyle gives me, especially since I’m working a lot on things I’m passionate about (including this blog).
   Looking at my reasons to want to be healthy, I can decide that it’s worth a few sacrifices. The first step towards sustainable weight loss is the determination that you’ll make it happen.
2. Lifestyle
   After I took a decision to act more healthy, I changed my lifestyle. A healthy lifestyle sounds difficult – it means incorporating healthy decisions in every aspect of your day, every day. Starting from the morning, when I have oats or avocado on toast instead of cocoa pops, to avoiding fast food, to an afternoon workout. It’s a shift in the way you do everything. However, the funny thing is, when you turn your lifestyle around completely it’s much easier to be healthy, compared to if you occasionally deprive yourself of treats and force yourself to go to the gym.
   A lifestyle change means adding things to your life, not just taking things away. For instance, I haven’t just removed sugary cereals from my breakfast, I’ve added healthy things that I like (avocado – yum!) A lifestyle change also means bringing your friends and family on board.
3. Clean Home
   I don’t mean a physically clean home, I mean a home devoid of foods that I’m trying to avoid. The easiest way to cut down on ice-cream has been to not stock it in my freezer. I’m incredibly bad at self-control, so I make sure that I don’t need to exercise it frequently. If I do buy treats, I try to buy them in smaller quantities, or keep them out of sight. Occasionally, I’ll ask my husband to hide them somewhere out of my reach.
4. Home cooking
   The easiest way to cut down calories is to cook at home. Most of the food served outside contain much higher levels of things like oil and sugar than home-cooking – because it’s their business to serve food that tastes good, not food that’s good for you. Cooking at home does take a bit of time, but I’ve grown to enjoy it, it’s incredibly frugal, and I’ve learnt a lot of shortcuts that make life easier. If you really don’t want to cook at home, at least try to buy food that’s marketed on its “healthiness” factor.
5. Eliminate the unimportant
   What’s unimportant to you? For me it’s food that’s not of the highest quality. You know what I’m talking about: stale fries, chocolate that’s oily, custard, sweets that are too sweet, food that’s too starchy and too oily. These were the first things I got rid of. I’m also not that keen on alcohol, so I’ve more or less given up drinking.
   It’s a value equation for me: unhealthy food that I’m not crazy about isn’t worth the calories.
6. Indulgences
   After I eliminate the unimportant, I focus on the important. Being healthy is a marathon not a sprint, so I think about what I could never do away with in my life. I indulge myself regularly and have lots of food that I love. I eat what I really want to without any guilt. The first step towards incorporating these indulgences is…
7. Acknowledge my weaknesses
   I love, love, love, love sweet food. My ideal day would be full of sweet foods. Chocolate, cakes, milkshakes, fudge, mousse: the list goes on. Of course, if I gave in to all my favorites, I’d be down with diabetes by now (it runs in my family anyway). What I do instead is ackowledge the fact that I love sweet food, not necessarily the cake or milkshake itself. And I try to make substitutions frequently: I have low-fat yoghurt, dried fruits and frozen berries.
   I also love pizza. Once a week, I make pizza at home: it’s not quite as unhealthy, and it gives me my “oo I’ve had pizza” joy.
   I adore chocolate, so I keep some dark chocolate at home: it’s healthier than chocolate bars, and a little bit gives me a lot of chocolateyness.
8. Home treats
   Did I mention that I love sweets? To be slightly healthier, I try to make most of my treats at home, using low GI sugar. I often crave cake, so I make orange-poppyseed muffins at home. I use a lot of oranges and a lot less sugar and butter than the recipe calls for: it tastes awesome, but isn’t so bad for me.
   At the end of the day, however, I treat my treats like treats. That means, I don’t eat dark chocolate all day, or have muffins for lunch. But when I feel like having dessert, I go right ahead.
9. No liquid calories
   Liquid calories fall under “unimportant stuff” for me. However, it’s something I’ve had to consciously think about. One glass of soda contains ten teaspoons of sugar: I’d rather have five of my orange poppyseed muffins. One cocktail contains 200 calories on average: I don’t drink unless I’m going dancing and I know I’ll burn it off that night. I eat a lot of sugary food, so I have sugarless tea and coffee.
   If I really want a cola, I have something diet. If I want a cocktail, I have juice (lemon or orange usually) mixed with a lot of soda/tonic water. Substitutions rule. Of course, mostly I just drink lots of water.
10. Snacks
    I am a chronic snacker. I get hungry all the time; I also eat for fun. I’ve accepted this as one of my weaknesses, and I do my best to work around it.
    I keep healthy snacks (fruit, nuts) ready for between-meals hunger, and I try to limit the amount of snacks I eat. I also take into account when my next meal will be: if lunch is a long way off and I’m starving, I have some oats or a bit of bread. If dinner is just around the corner, I’ll have fruits.
    I also check whether I just want to eat for fun and I’m not really hungry. If that’s the case, I’ll have a soda with juice or some green tea; I used to have chewing gum.
11. Be prepared
    You’re at work, you’re hungry and you have no food. The nearest food source is the vending machine. Before you know it, there’s a bag of chips in you. And you’re not even that fond of chips.
    I protect myself from vending machine attacks by carrying a tiny box of nuts or dried fruit with me. You might like to carry a protein bar. Whatever it is, make sure it stays in your bag.
    I also like to keep frozen meals in my freezer to stop my Happy Meal runs: I cook up a big batch of food and freeze some of it for days when I don’t have time to make anything.
12. Make time
    Losing weight and being healthy takes time. That’s time you have to carve out somehow: time for exercising, cooking, baking. I’ve already determined that being healthy is a priority for me, so now I somehow have to fit it into my day!
    This is how I do it: On Friday afternoon, I do my baking. I love baking and find it relaxing, so I do it as a TGIF celebration. I bake heaps, and freeze the excess. I cook over the weekend, and freeze some for weekdays. I also cook once or twice in the middle of the week. I’m lucky that I’ve got my partner to help me out, but I used to do something similar when I was single.
    I also decide that I’ll dedicate an hour or so a day to exercising – daily.
13. Portion-limit
    In his book, Mindless Eating, author Brian Wansink talks about how we over-eat and make unhealthy choices without even realizing it. One of the major things I learnt from this book was: bigger plates and glasses lead to bigger servings. In my experience, I’ve also found that bigger spoons lead to more eating as well.
    I trick myself into eating less by not using huge plates and using smaller spoons to eat foods like icecream and yoghurt.
    I try my best to be conscious of what and how much I’m eating: it’s not always possible, but I try to check that I’m not just randomly eating heaps of food without realizing it. For instance, I try to consciously notice how many spoons of something I’m serving myself: since I like yoghurt, I limit myself to three tablespoons each time.
14. Eat less
    Along with limiting my portion-size, I try to consciously eat less at meals. I’ve already mentioned that I’m a snacker, and I get lots of calories in between meals. At major meals, I try to not to overdose on carbs: I don’t go hungry, but I try not to eat more than I have to. It’s been quite easy for me to have one sandwich rather than two, and half a plate of rice or pasta rather than a whole bowl.
    I also do this when I’m having a “treat”, usually something sweet. The most pleasure comes from the first two bites or so, so when I bake muffins, I make them small. I cut up my big chocolate bars into smaller pieces so that I don’t have a big chunk by default. Eating less has been an incredibly painless way for me to eat healthier.
15. Make exercise fun
    Ugh, I never thought I’d put the words “exercise” and “fun” next to each other. There’s so much I don’t like about exercise: it’s either boring (walking, slow weight reps) or really difficult (pushing yourself to run that extra mile). However, there are ways to make exercise less painful. The first thing is to do something you love: for me, that would be dancing. You might love swimming, or kickboxing. Try to find an activity you actually enjoy.
    Make what you’re already doing fun: music is the easiest way to brighten up a boring workout, especially if you’re outside running or walking. You might also try doing a “workout meditation” and clear your mind during your workout – this often works for me! At this point though, my major cheat is tv shows: I ask my partner to have episodes ready (you can do this via Netflix or DVDs) for me to watch when I’m sweating it out on the elliptical. Now I don’t dread my forty minutes of exhaustion so much: it’s my excuse to watch another couple of episodes of Family Guy.
16. Make time for exercise
    Exercise involves a time commitment. I only work out after I’ve determined that I really can’t get by without it, and I’ll have to squeeze it into my day somehow.
    I actually went through a lot of thinking to decide on the type of exercise I’d do. I had to eliminate the option of going to the gym, since I don’t want to waste time (and money) travelling. I decided that it would be easier for me to work out from home. So now all I had to do was fit it in. I don’t want to exercise just after a meal, so I try to pick a time that’s a while after I’ve eaten: possible options for me are before breakfast, mid-morning, afternoon, or way after dinner.
17. Don’t insult your intelligence
    These are all little things I do to make life easier when I’m trying to be healthier. However, you’ll note that I’m not about to mention “get off 15 minutes away from your destination and walk the rest of the way”. That just wouldn’t work for me: I know why I’m doing that, and I couldn’t be bothered, I’d rather do a big chunk of exercise than waste travel time. It might work for you, but don’t fool yourself into doing something – it won’t work on a consistent basis.  Try to think about the reason behind what you’re doing: don’t eat Subway regularly because it’s healthy fast food. Think about why you want fast food in the first place: it may be a cheese craving, in which case you’re better off having crackers and cheese with sundried tomatoes.
18. Do what works
    Since I started trying to be healthier, I’ve found out that lots of things don’t work for me. For instance, exercising first thing in the morning has many benefits, but I just can’t do it: early morning time has a high premium for me, and I use it to write. On the other hand, I’ve found that if I jump onto the elliptical soon after coming home from work, I can get my daily workout over with easily.
    When I lived in the outer suburbs I used to go running, but now that I live in the inner suburbs I can’t find a nice place for running. In addition, I keep wondering if it’ll start to rain just as I’m at my run mid-point. So running just doesn’t work for me.
    By a process of trial and elimination, I’ve arrived at what works for me. You should probably do the same: look for a better alternative when something isn’t going well.
19. Buddy up
    Peer pressure is an awesome motivator. One reason gym classes work so well is that you don’t want to look like a weakling who stops in the middle of a workout.
    An easy way to buddy up is to work out with your partner, or a friend: outside of group exercises, running and cycling are two activities that are easy to do with a friend.
20. Get gear
    I’ve found that having appropriate gear makes me more likely to exercise: it doesn’t have to be very expensive either.
    I like spending on activities – dance class being next on my list. Most recently I’ve purchased an elliptical machine to work out at home; I don’t feel guilty because it’s been cheaper than a gym membership, and it gets used almost every day.
    I like having workout clothes: when I put them on, I know I’m going to exercise. If I’m exercising in public (running or at the gym) I don’t have to waste energy wondering if my clothes are ok.
    The important thing is to not stop after buying the equipment or gym membership: put it to use.
21. Fast/Detox
    Note: this could be risky.
    Losing weight is demotivating because it takes forever to see any results. This time round I decided to cheat a bit. I’d read a lot about fasts and detox diets (acai berry, cabbage soup diet, lemon detox etc) and after doing my research I decided to go on a shake diet. Now, this isn’t a lifestyle change or something sustainable, but it gave me quite a nudge. I made fruit shakes at home using frozen berries, oranges, milk, soy milk, oats, lemon and salt (not all at once!). I liked the shakes because they were sweet, and they filled me up. I made sure to have a multivitamin daily as well. I kept it up for about three days, and I didn’t feel any side effects. The only reason I stopped was because I wanted to chew my food again! In three days, I lost quite a bit of weight, which I haven’t put back on. Since my home-made fruit-shake diet went so well, I’d like to try one of the commercially available detox diets at some point in the future.
22. Exercise daily
    I can’t always make it, but I try to exercise every single day. If I allocate days of the week, e.g. I’ll work out on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, I try to bargain with myself, or put it off till tomorrow. I allocate a time of day and a type of exercise and I do it every single day. Sure, some days I’ll also do yoga. Some days I’ll throw in a bit of strength training, and somewhere down the line I’ll go to dance class. Those are novelties for me, but exercising is part of my daily routine.
23. No 2 days off
    Having said that I try to exercise daily, I’ll admit that sometimes I can’t fit it in. About once a week a major distraction comes up. But when I miss one day of exercise, I’m extra careful to ensure that I exercise the next day. I’ve found that when I skip two days in a row, it’s even more difficult to get back into the routine, and more tempting to take it easy. In addition, my stamina goes down, and I just can’t work out as long.
24. Allow for imperfections
    Shit happens. Sometimes it rains when you want to go running, or your workout buddy fails to show up. You need to be flexible enough to take these things in stride and still exercise. For instance, the other day I didn’t have two episodes of Family Guy ready for watching. I had to take a deep breath, and decide to do a workout meditation instead.
25. Forgive your failings
    One day my partner came home with a block of Lindt chocolate with crunchy carameley bits in it. I didn’t even like it that much. I finished it in two sittings.
    Sometimes we do stupid things, things so far off the realm of what we want to do to be healthy and lose weight. However, a single failing isn’t a great tragedy in the scheme of things. It’s only a tragedy if you tell yourself that this time you’ve failed, and there’s no point in trying so hard to be healthy. You defeat yourself not by failing, but by continuing to fail. So if you do give in to the voice that tells you to skip the gym and eat a huge pizza, look back, forgive yourself, and move on.

Related posts:

1. Self Improvement – Why Bother?
2. Weight Loss – Why Bother?

1. Drink Less Coffee
This is a tip coming from a coffee addict. I’ve found that coffee is a vicious cycle of a crutch. I have coffee, I love it, I’m happy, it’s gone, I need more. Unless I consciously limit the amount of coffee I have a day, I can easily go through ten cups. And I just feel worse overall.
Coffee in moderation isn’t bad. But before it becomes a crutch that you can’t function without, pace yourself. Try substituting with tea or soda water sometimes.

2. Have more passion
When you go through the day not really caring about what you’re doing, you’ll definitely feel drained. However, when you do things you care about, your energy levels go way up.
Have you ever felt way too tired to study or do the dishes, but excited about hanging out with your partner or playing a video game? That’s passion at work. So do things you love to do; if you’re stuck in a job you’re not thrilled about, pretend to care.

3. Interact with someone you like
I’ve worked in a few jobs that I didn’t really like, and I’m an introvert, but talking with a friend has always made me feel a lot better. A bit of joking and horsing around usually makes you feel more positive and active.

4. Got vitamins?
A multivitamin is better than a caffeine hit. I’m not a doctor, so I can’t explain how this happens, but basically your body functions better if it’s given proper fuel. Develop good food habits, and have an occasional vitamin tablet or drink.

5. Exercise
Increased energy is one of the major reasons I bother to exercise. Although it’s counter-intuitive, exercise really helps to reduce fatigue.

6. Decide to be more energetic
Strange as it sounds, this is something that’s been working for me recently. I’m going through training at work, which is incredibly boring, but I take a conscious decision to be alert and attentive. Usually, I don’t focus fully on class, and jot down notes for future articles and to-do lists, but at I’m certainly energetic about it!
My very unscientific theory is, once we decide to be more energetic, we actually focus some of our attention on how we’re feeling, and we do the right things (eat right, have tea instead of coffee) and we somehow force our brain to be more alert. I know, it doesn’t make sense, but it works for me and it might work for you.

7. Be more positive
Negative people are energy vampires, but positive people radiate energy. It’s hard to be lethargic when you’re thankful for your situation and your life. Appreciating what you’ve got makes it easier to put more into life.

8. Meditate
I’m still really bad at meditating, but it’s made a huge difference to how I feel – my work is more focused, and I’m much more productive.

9. Get out in the morning
Make yourself presentable, and get out of the house. Maybe you commute to work and read/meditate/listen to music on the way, or maybe you work from home and go for a morning jog. Either way, I’ve found that the act of getting out of the house in the morning makes me feel that much more energized.

Those are the things that worked for me. Of course, the major factor in how I feel is the fact that I’m doing things I care about, so I think I’ll soon post about working at something you love.

No related posts.

After my last weight gain, I asked myself, why bother? And I didn’t. For a while. Until I realized, well, here’s why:

1. Fat people wear their heart on their sleeves. We all have a secret weakness. For fat people, everyone knows what it is. Fat people have a tougher time at work, and in public situations. I will admit that I dread having to be squished beside an obese person on rush-hour public transport. However, I’m sure the obese person feels worse about it. Have you ever been the one person who couldn’t get on an elevator? Don’t make your physical weight a mental weight as well.

2. Lose weight, gain health. Okay, that was a corny way of saying it, but fat people are more unhealthy. Their weight makes them more prone to heart disease and other diseases, and usually there are some contributing lifestyle factors as well – they eat unhealthy food and barely exercise. Whenever you try to lose weight, you ideally put yourself on a health bandwagon. Weight loss means being less disease-prone. It usually also means being more active and eating better, all of which contribute in the health sphere.

3. Lose weight, gain energy. Anyone who’s lost a lot of weight will tell you how much more energetic they feel. There’s a physical as well as mental reason for this – if you lose weight, you literally carry less load. Which means you have more energy for the rest of your life. Eating healthy and exercising also give you an immense amount of energy during the day. These days my major motivator for exercising is the energy boost I get after completing my routine.

4. Look hot. Yes, there are some quite overweight people who look very attractive. For most of us mere mortals, however, weight loss = hotness. I will admit that this previously used to be my primary motivator. And with summer coming up here in Australia, the need to be able to wear summery clothes again is indeed a pressing one!

There was a time when I felt that the effort required to get rid of those pounds of fat wasn’t worth it. I’ll admit that shamefully, I didn’t have a very good reason for feeling that way – other than not being motivated enough to spend all that effort. And it is a lot of effort! There’s a reason the formula of “lose weight = eat right + exercise” doesn’t work. I mean, it does, but most people can’t make it work for them. The first step is really committing to the challenge. The next steps are to do with facing that challenge – relevant posts coming soon! In the meantime, I’d love to hear what motivates you to lose weight.

Related posts:

1. Why is it so Hard to Lose Weight? My Giant List of Weight-Loss Tips
2. Self Improvement – Why Bother?